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Creating a Profile...

Much like writing your employment resume, your profile will represent you, albeit in a much more personal way. You want to be yourself, but yourself in the best light possible. Therefore, you should take the time to put some thought into it before registering. You might want to check out the sections on What Men Want or What Women Want, which are compilations of the most asked-for qualities in a match, and try to emphasize which attributes of yours are most sought-after.

I would also recommend reading several profiles of your same sex to get an idea of the competition. Some profiles are just downright appealing. Here are some guidelines for creating a great profile.

Attitude

First, you need the right attitude. Write your profile when you're in a good mood -- a self-confident, feeling-good-about myself (what's not to love?) mood. Often, listening to certain music will make you feel more like you. So shut off the tube, crank up your favorite tunes on the stereo (whether it be CCR, Salt N Peppa, or Motzart), and find your happy place.

Photos

PHOTOS are a must! Most searches will default to matches with photos only. Most members will not even consider a profile without a photo. Get 15 times more attention in 4 easy steps.

* CloseUp -- You need one good close-up photo for your main shot -- a nice relaxed smile is a good selling point. No hats or sunglasses, please. If you're bald, don't make us guess (or find out later).  And quite frankly, a blurry photo with hat and sunglasses is just suspicious.

* Full-Length -- A full-length photo to show off that physique (formal wear works as well as well-developed abs).

* Interest -- Some 'interest' photos to show you doing your activities that make you interesting. (You see a lot of motorcycles.)

* It has to be you -- Photos should be of you (not a cartoon) and should be recent (not your high school yearbook or baby photo.) Do not post a picture of a sunset.

* Photo Don'ts:
         > Don't use a photo with your ex not quite cut out of the picture ( we don't want to think about how good-looking they are).
         > If you must include other people in your photos, it should be obvious who you are.
         > Photos with minimal clothing should be tasteful (think swimsuit, not underwear) -- those abs could be a huge factor in attracting matches, but refrain from publishing any blatantly sexual photos. Profiles are reviewed by the dating service staff, and most sites will not allow material that appears to be of an adult nature.

User Name

Your user name can say a lot about yourself, so choose wisely

  • Don't use something overtly sexual. Try to be original, or at the very least, memorable. For example, what do these names do for you?
  • OLonesomeMe
  • May be too desperate
  • Randy4U
  • I'd run
  • icantwin
  • So you think you're a loser?
  • hotmomma

You might get more than you wanted

Also, a string of numbers might be unique and generic, but it's not easy to remember. A good descriptive user name can reel them in right off the bat.

Catchy Headline

Here's another chance to get a bite with a little description of who you are or what you're looking for. The more unique, the better. Some good ones:

    * Yes, but can he juggle?
    * A class act
    * born to ride forced to work
    * looking4shrek
    * Who is John Galt?

Your Spiel

Should I mention in my profile that I like feet?

A lot of the dating sites have made setting up the profile easier by providing multiple choice answers. But the meat of the profile is still your freeform thoughts. How you express yourself in words is going to tell us just as much about you as a list of hobbies and personality traits.

Some hints:

  • Be as natural as you can; be yourself; be honest.
  • Put more emphasis on describing yourself than on what you're looking for.
  • Tell us what makes you unique and special.
  • If you're funny, don't tell us that you're funny, write a funny profile.
  • Create a mission statement (think Kevin Costner in Bull Durham; I believe in...).
  • Be careful what you ask for, i.e., 'I want a drop-dead gorgeous person who is 10 years younger...'; you'll probably attract someone just as shallow as yourself, and you're going to alienate a lot of great possibilities.
  • Tell us what's important to you -- honesty, sense of humor, your religion, your kids, your job, your motorcycle...
  • Tell us your favorite movies, favorite books, what movie star in what movie that you most identify with.

Don't be overtly

Sexual - it's okay to describe yourself as passionate, or say that a good physical relationship is important to you, but don't go on and on about how you want a lusty partner, or we'll think that sex is all you think about or want, and we'll bypass you quickly.

  • Don't include baggage or sarcastic references to baggage.
  • Accentuate the positive. This is not the place to tell us what's wrong with you or things about yourself that you are working on.  A possible exception would be if you were a smoker and trying to quit.
  • Lastly, don't tell us too much. You have to leave us wanting to know more.

General Observations

Check your spelling and grammar. You won't be taken seriously if you can't take the time to check for spelling and punctuation.  Also, do not USE ALL CAPS. Bad form.

   * Be honest. Here it is again. Don't say you're 6'0 if you're really 5'9". Don't represent yourself as single (and available) if you're not. (Note -- euphemisms are different. Euphemisms are like describing yourself as voluptuous, hour-glass, sturdy, or solid when you're carrying around a few extra pounds.)

   * Try writing your profile on your own PC, leaving it until the next day, and then look it over. Chances are, you're going to want to change something.

   * Read through your profile -- if it isn't even interesting to you, then start over.