Would You like to go out?

Cupid Match


“What do you want to do?”

“Whatever you want.”

“Um…Whatever you want.”

“I dunno.”


Upon whom falls the responsibility of determining the nature and location of a date? First impressions would indicate that it is up to the guy, who initiates the date. The stress related to this decision coupled with the responsibilities and risks involved in asking out in the first place, as well as the onus to cover the financial aspects of the date, it would seem that the guy has a great burden to bear. However, a deeper analysis may prove otherwise.


Competing the “guy does all” rule is the “first to say, first to pay” rule, which states that it is the responsibility of the one who requests the date to bear the onus of the stress thereof. As a practical matter, these two rules have overlapped as long as it was socially acceptable for the guy to solely risk humiliation for the sake of a date. But this is not always the case.

It is plausible for the girl to ask the guy out and thereby assume possession of all dating responsibilities.

As equitable as that may sound on paper, it is highly unlikely that a guy ‘in the know’ (i.e. adept at dating etiquette) would allow such a situation to continue. Proper dating protocol calls for the guy to bear such responsibilities, at least for the first number of dates, to establish that he treats all women, and especially this woman, with utmost deference. Others view this as a subtle form of control by the guy, who is “in charge” of directing the attention toward the girl (even though the girl is treated like a queen).